As I read in an article by Benedict Carey,
”To intentionally forget is to remember differently, on purpose.”
The study he reported about explains how we can refine our memory on purpose. We have to recall and change it to improve.
The authors concluded,
“To forget a memory, its mental representation should be enhanced to trigger memory weakening.”
Thus, you have to strengthen your memory before weakening it. Counter-intuitive, no doubt.
You can suppress or substitute a memory, and this strategy of forgetting by changing that memory can be valuable when our life is affected by those of trauma, shame or neglect.
You’re not changing what you lived, but making it what matters in your life. For example, remember the last time you felt humiliated. It’s better to remember those who supported you than the humiliation.